WomanHood

   Its raining outside, its 11;23pm on a Friday of a long weekend and the rain is falling heavy like my menstrual cycle. Too much information. Day 1 is always the most brutal. Can I get an AMEN!!! The kids are finally in bed and as I lay me head back to finally take a rest after a long day, I begin to think back to when I got my period for the first time. I'll never forget it. I had just turned 13, and all of my other friends had gotten theirs and I was the last one, if not the only one. I remember it like it was yesterday. I went upstairs after dinner and was not really feeling well. I decide to got to the bathroom to go pee and what to my wondering eyes do I see? but my period! Now at that time, getting your period in my mind was supposed to be a momentous occasion according to the Cosby Show. You know the episode where Rudy gets her period for the first time but chooses not to have "Woman's Day" with her Mom, Claire Huxtable (played by the talented Felicia Rashad). I love me some her!.

Anyways, as I was saying, Woman's Day! The day you celebrate your change into womanhood. I believed that something magical would happen, maybe a gift , or a pep talk. Instead, I was given a pad that looked like a diaper and was told how to put it on. I think my Mom was more upset because she went from buying diapers for me to Pads. It was another added expense. LOL!. I do vaguely remember my Dad coming into my room to sort of tell me he was proud of me. I think that's what he was trying to say.

 I had created a false image of celebration that I thought was going to happen but never did. This was no Cosby show. I had my period and left to figure it out on my own.  Well tonight, as I watch the rain come down from my balcony, my body feeling defeated from my monthly cycle. I finally give in. I allow my period to take over my body like a tidal wave rushing through my body. Louise Hay talk about the meaning of illnesses. She says menstrual imbalances/PMS is a rejection of ones femininity, Guilt of "feeling dirty". I never got my celebration, my entry into womanhood like I had always imagined. So just like that, my period was rejected, the very first day it showed up. Since then, I've been looking for my femininity ever since. I can't lie, I do find myself feeling a little lost at times when it comes to my feminine side, and its time to reclaim it. I have three amazing kids, two of which are girls and I want them to see the beauty in receiving their menstrual cycle for the first time. A Celebration of Femininity. WOMANHOOD!

Affirmation : *The vessel in which life comes and goes is a beautiful thing.
*I celebrate the process of femininity.